dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
