I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
3pm strippers are depressing
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
