ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
