3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
its not stalking. its research.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
