you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
