I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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