i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
