So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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