Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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