hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
