So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
