Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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