She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize