So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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