Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
