Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
