Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
