I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
