One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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