turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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