too bad you live with your parents still
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
