K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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