kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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