Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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