i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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