you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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