I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
