Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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