What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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