Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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