I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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