you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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