I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
