y did u give ur computer a hand job?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
