What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
