I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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