why didn't you poke me back
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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