she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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