i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
