So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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