Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
not ubering you a puppy
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
