I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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