he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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