she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
