K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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