I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
