I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
