just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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