I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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