Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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