help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
